I was a Monster Mommy the other day. I have all sorts of reasons and excuses for being a monster. I could justify it if I wanted to, and most of you would say, “well, yeah. That would make me want to be a monster too!” But, the truth of the matter is I sinned. I lashed out and screamed (yes, screamed) at my children. I threw things (yes, threw things) and stomped around and well, terrified them. I was being a monster. Why? Because they weren’t obeying like I wanted them to. They weren’t doing as I asked. So, rather than be the adult in the situation I turned into a monster. As I was stomping, screaming, yelling and throwing things I KNEW I was being horrible, and yet I didn’t tap into self control. I just let myself rage on. I screamed at them to go downstairs, which they did gladly, and I sat down in the rocking chair in their room and balled my eyes out. What in the world? What was I thinking? They’re children for crying out loud. They are almost 4 and almost 2. Of course, they’re not going to always obey. Of course, they’re not going to clean up their mess as fast as I want them to. And, of course, Monster Mommy is horribly scary and unnecessary.
After I collected myself and calmed down I called them back up. And you know what they did? They ran to me with open arms and forgiveness that I hadn’t yet asked for. I gathered up Cora in my arms (who most of my wrath was taken out on) and told her I was out of line, I had no business to yell and scream and throw things. I had crossed a line and I was so, so sorry. I asked for her forgiveness, which she willingly gave. I kissed her and hugged her. I gathered up Ben and did the same. And, I held them and cried. I held them and told them how much I loved them. I told them I hadn’t acted loving or kind, and I was so very sorry. They forgave me. I didn’t make excuses, for truth be told, there is no excuse for treating anyone that way. We rocked and cried and hugged for a while.
When you become Monster Mommy (because I believe we all do at some point or another with our children) how do you handle the after-affects? How do you make things right with your kids? Do you come humbly to them, or do you say you’re sorry, but…I saw very plainly the love of Christ shine through my children the other day. They came to me, they forgave, and they still love me. I don’t deserve their love, but they give it freely. We are mommies, we are human and we are sinners. We make mistakes and screw up and we have great potential to cause damage to our kids. My prayer for myself is that when I do sin against my kids, and my humanness takes over, that I remember to repent to them and assure them that though Mommy isn’t perfect she still loves them.