I’m feeling a bit anxious today. It started last night. I fell asleep thinking about different names to use for our future children. This, I think, only added to my anxiety. As I’ve mentioned before, David and I have had difficulty conceiving a child. A few weeks ago we both went through some tests and today we find out the results. I’m nervous to know if there’s something wrong with one or both of us. I’m nervous to know whether or not having biological children will be a possibility for us. I’m nervous to know what God’s plan is for our lives in regard to children. However, I am reminded of the verse in Philippians “do not be anxious for anything…” Hmmm…anything? Really? I can’t worry about ANYTHING? Are you sure, God? I mean, not having children is a pretty big thing. Are you sure I can’t be anxious about that? Do not be anxious for ANYTHING! Oh, you mean, I can’t be anxious for anything? That’s right, child, nothing. I’m in control of everything. I have your days numbered, I know how many hairs are on your head. Surely I can take care of this. The other part of the verse says, “but in everthing, by prayer and supplication, present your requests to the Lord.” Lord, I ask that we have a child soon, I ask that if I’m not already pregnant, that I would be VERY soon! Lord, David and I want to have children, to raise them to love you and serve you and worship you. Please see fit to answer this prayer with a “yes.”
Please be encouraged by this verse. God tells us to be anxoius for nothing, but it’s hard to do, isn’t it? I mean, there’s so much in this life that seems OUT of control. How can God possibly know everything that’s happening in MY life, YOUR life, everyone’s lives? He’s God, that’s how. That’s what I have to remember He’s God and I’m, well, not. He created the heavens and the earth, surely he can create a little person inside of me. He died and rose again on the 3rd day, surely he’s capable of working through my humaness and can help me have faith.
Thank you, Lord, for your promises to care for your children. To wipe away our tears, to hold us close. Thank you for the ways you provide for us, and that you never leave us or forsake us. Help my unbelief!!!