How Do I Love Him?

Let me count the ways…
I know we all think we married the best man in the world. And I truly believe I did! 🙂 Marriage is such an interesting thing. Things you thought would be important you find aren’t, and things you thought wouldn’t be all that important truly are. Though David and I will be celebrating “only” three years next week and we’re still babies at this, we have been able to learn a lot already! With each year that goes by I love this man more and more and become more and more thankful FOR him. I should probably wait and do this post next week on our anniversary, but I feel so overcome with love and gratitude for David that I can’t keep it inside for any longer! OK, if you can’t handle the mushy, you might as well stop reading now! 🙂 🙂
We tried hard for this baby that I am now pregnant with and will be delivering shortly. It was a struggle and we went through a whole range of emotions. There were times we thought maybe we wouldn’t have children, or we would adopt, or…There was never a doubt in my mind that David wasn’t just as heartbroken as me every time the pregnancy test showed a negative. He cried with me, hugged me, felt the pain just as much as I did. If I didn’t know before, I certainly learned then, that this man has a sensitive and caring heart and desperately wanted to be a father as much as I wanted to be a mother. The day we knew I was pregnant was WONDERFUL!!!! However, I also felt some trepidation. I knew our lives would never be the same. It would never just be the 2 of us (and I’m selfish–I want him all to myself), my body was going to change, the way we prioritized our life was going to change. Change, change, change. Even good change is hard. I was scared. I didn’t know how this was going to affect our marriage, etc. However, I have come to love my husband more and more throughout this pregnancy than I ever thought possible.
When I was puking up my guts for 4 months he was so understanding, kind, gentle. He wanted to take it away but knew I just needed to ride it out. He prayed for me, hugged me when I felt my worse, cooked his own supper (even asked if it was OK to cook this, that and the other–not wanting to make me feel sicker), cleaned the house, took care of the dog, etc. He did all this while fighting the insanity that was going on at the church we were serving at the time. He never complained, never made me feel less of a person.
With the 2 nd trimester I was feeling better, which was good. It was my turn to take care of him. And I did so willingly. His life became hell with all the junk at the church, his gall bladder giving out on him, and just the general turmoil that these 2 things were bringing to the family. Yet, he never complained. He still helped me out, got mad if I tried to lift/carry things, did what he could to help make my life easier.
Now we’re at the end. My body continues to enlarge and become mutant-looking (at least to me!). You know what he said to me when I expressed my concern to him about this? He said I’m beautiful because it’s our child I’m carrying and how could that make me ugly? Sigh…He has endured restless nights of sleep due to me not being comfortable (he now has to contend with an extra pillow in the bed), he has hugged me when my hip pain is paralyzing me, he continues to help clean the house, cook supper and do way more than his fair share. It thrills him to no end to feel our baby girl move, to see her move. If it’s possible, he might be even MORE excited than me for this baby! 🙂 He worries so much that he won’t be a good father, that he knows nothing about little girls. He has no need to worry. He’ll be wonderful! I know he’ll love to have tea parties and play house and let his little girl put barrettes in his hair. 🙂 He’ll be great. He has no need to worry.
As we come to the end of this pregnancy and are preparing for the labor/delivery part I find myself not worried at all about how he’ll be there for me during that final push (excuse the pun!). I know he’ll be a wonderful support, he’ll cheer me on and he’ll cry just as much as me when we finally see our baby girl for the first time. I can’t wait to see my David hold his little girl for the first time. Sure, there will always be uncertainty in life, life will continue to change and throw us curve balls. I’m just so thankful the Lord has given me such a wonderful man to walk through this crazy thing we call life and that we can do it together.
I love you David Austin!

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