Fear…

Fear. It’s something we all deal with at some point. Some deal with it daily, or hourly, some deal with it only with certain situations, others hardly ever feel fear. What is fear and why does it affect all of us so differently? As a Christian I don’t have to be consumed with fear. I’m told in 1 John that “perfect love casts out fear.” In Isaiah I’m told, “so do not be afraid.” There are many Scripture references dealing with fear. God must’ve known this would be something we were going to deal with. I’ve always seen fear as a way for Satan to get into my mind and control me, so to speak. I am one of those people who could deal with fear on a daily basis. I seem capable of always finding something to be afraid of. I don’t know why. I guess it’s a matter of control. If I’m afraid of it then I have some manner of control. If I give it over to God, well then He’s controlling it and then what will I do? I know, it’s silly. But, aren’t we humans silly beings?

I say all this because I have been dealing with a lot of fear this week. I thought I had worked through my fears of delivering this baby, going through the labor, dealing with the pain, dealing with the possibility (albeit small) of a c-section. But, apparently not. I have really been struggling with fear. I’m afraid of the pain that will be there, I’m afraid of the possibility of not getting through the labor without medication. I’m afraid of the giant needle that would be used to administer the medication. I’m afraid I won’t have the strength to endure the process, that I’ll give up and ask for a c-section and than that the doctor will actually say OK! I’m afraid that something will go wrong, that though everything has been routine thus far something will go terribly wrong in the end. I’m just plain afraid. I hate this. It’s silly to me, in a way. I know that millions of women have gone before me in giving birth, in WAY less sanitary and ideal situations then I will be having. But, I still have fear.

Could it be that this fear is here so I see the need of my Father? Could it be that I need to open the Word of God and read the promises there? “Perfect love cast out ALL fear,” “so take hold of my right hand and do not be afraid…” We have a great and mighty God. Yes, there WILL be pain, yes, it’s OK to take the medication to ease the pain if I so desire, yes, a c-section just might HAVE to be done and yes, I’ll live through all of it and so will the baby. I have a great doctor, a man who values life and values the mother who is birthing that little life. I have a good hospital with great staff to go to and deliver my baby. I have a wonderful husband who will be there with me through each step of the way. I have wonderful parents, sister and in-laws who will be “there” with me, praying and encouraging me (from the waiting room! 🙂 ). But, more importantly, I have a God who loves me, has brought me this far, and will continue to help me. He promises to “never leave me or forsake me.” He promises to love me and he is faithful. I have no reason to fear. As a child of the King I have Him on my side, He who is mightier than the beast (Satan) who is trying to paralyze me with fear. I don’t have to be afraid. I have a God who is, and will be, right there with me. I hope you too can find peace in knowing you don’t have to be afraid, trust in Him and He’ll take care of the rest.

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