Today is Mother’s Day. Up until today it was a day to celebrate my mom, my grandma’s, aunts, sister and friends who are moms. But, it was never a day I really thought of for myself. In fact, the past few Mother’s Days have been painful for me. I haven’t always been a mom, though I’ve always WANTED to be one! When David and I got married we decided to wait at least a year before having kids. That didn’t last that whole year and we later decided to start trying as we wanted kids sooner than later. However, God had other things in mind. It took, what seemed to us, a long time to get pregnant. Month after month of not being pregnant was painful. Hearing comments from people at church (who I refuse to believe were “well-meaning”) such as, “it doesn’t take 2 years to make a baby,” or “happy Mother’s Day even though you’re NOT a mother.” Those comments hurt. Last year I was at a point where I almost didn’t bother going to church on Mother’s Day because I just didn’t want to deal with the old ladies and their comments. But, I went. I mean, I was the pastor’s wife. I had to be there. And, it was painful. I’m thankful for those years of pain. Why? Because it’s made me see what many women go through day after day, year after year. Though the few years it took for us to get pregnant were painful, we were lucky. We DID get pregnant and now have a beautiful little girl. I don’t understand why it took so long, but it did. However, I’m glad it did so I can understand better the women who can’t get pregnant, won’t ever be able to hold their own baby. It has allowed me to be more sensitive to a very painful thing a lot of women deal with. Mother’s Day is a hard day for so many. We need to be careful what we say to a woman who is married and has been for-gasp-more than 9 months and still doesn’t have a baby. You never know if there is secret pain there.
I’m so happy to be a mom! I’ve only been one for 6 weeks, unless you count the 10 months Cora was “cooking.” Everyday I’m a mom I realize how LITTLE I know. I don’t know how my mom did this. How did she raise my sister and I to be good people? How did she raise us to love God and to follow him? When I think of my mom I think “prayer.” My mom is a prayer warrior. It is very important to her and nothing is to small to take to the Lord. I remember many times as a child, adolescent, adult, when she told me to “just pray about it. God always answers our prayers (yes, no or wait a while).” How true that is. As a child I would wake many a morning to see my mom sitting in the living room reading her Bible and praying. I would hear her and my dad praying together. Prayer. Such a simple thing, yet so important. I hope I am able to instill in my children the importance of prayer. I know my mom would say it was through prayer and the love of God that she was able to raise my sister and I–oh, and some help from my dad too! 🙂 She would say that without God she wouldn’t have been able to do it. I believe her. How many times these past 6 weeks have I already prayed for wisdom to know how to raise Cora? How many more times throughout our children’s life will I find myself on my knees praying for guidance and wisdom?
If you’re a mom I applaud you. You have a great responsibility and will be a blessing to your children. If you’re not a mom I pray for you. I pray today has not been too painful and I pray you might one day find the joy of holding your child in your arms. But, if not, that God would give you an extra measure of grace to release that pain to him.