I don’t know about you, but when I’m exceedingly down I go to the Psalms. King David seemed to be a pretty depressed person. Strange, seeing as how he was so wealthy, handsome, successful, powerful, etc. And yet, when you read his psalms you see a great depression in him. We all have our favorites. Mine is Psalm 139, it’s always been a huge encouragement to me. However, I love it when I run across a psalm I haven’t read in a long time and read the words. It’s interesting how the Lord will speak to us. I was reading a little Precious Moments book to Cora yesterday. It is small, cardboard and the title is “Praying.” It has little snippets of verses on each page with cute photos. One of the verses was this, “be merciful to me and hear my prayer.” I looked up the whole verse to read this, “Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and her my prayer.” Psalm 4:1. Usually when I read David’s psalms I feel like he’s just talking, or crying, However, when I read this verse I had the distinct impression that David was demanding the most High God to hear him. As if he was saying, “Hey God! Listen to me when I’m talking to you!” Do you ever feel like that? Do you ever feel like God is a acting like a little child and not actually listening to you when you’re speaking? I sure do! I have felt this way for a long time, almost a year now. It’s no surprise to you, my readers, that this year has been hard. It has been. It’s been just plain hard. Though I have continued praying throughout this year I have felt that God has not been listening. I mean, if he were listening David would have a job by now, right? If he were listening I wouldn’t have gotten in an accident, 2 cars wouldn’t have been totalled, we wouldn’t have to be on WIC, we would be happier, we…the list goes on. The list of complaints grows daily it seems some days. Since reading this verse yesterday I have been praying it. “answer me when I call to you!” God, don’t let my prayers fall on deaf ears!!! Be merciful! Answer my prayers!!! Give my husband a job. Why is it is bad for him to have a job right now? I mean, seriously!!!!! What’s the big deal? I don’t know. My mind is flooded with Scripture about God being faithful, sovereign, doing things on his timing, etc. Sigh. Yes, I must be reminded that God loves me. He is faithful and he’s just and right. I won’t for a minute pretend I understand why we’re still waiting. We just are. I’m tired of trying to figure out some hidden meaning or lesson we’re/I’m supposed to be learning. I’m just tired.
I just want God to hear my cry. I just want him to show me mercy and hear my prayer.