I think I need to change the name of my blog. It seems I rarely actually talk about being a pastor’s wife. Oh well, it took me long enough to come up with this title, so unless I can find something more snappy you’re all stuck with this! 🙂 In any case, I thought today I would do some musing from the perspective of a pastor’s wife. 🙂 Aren’t you so glad you stopped by today?
My first experience as a pastor’s wife was not great, or wonderful, not even good. Oh it had it’s moments, but that’s truly all there were, moments. But now, God has moved us to a such a wonderful place and church that my whole perspective on what it is to be a pastor’s wife is changing. And, sadly, I must admit it’s been a slow change. When you’ve been hurt over and over again it’s hard to let those defenses down and let people in. However, every Sunday I am trying. I know the place God has us now is far different from where we came, and so I have been forced (thankfully, really) to look at life as a pastor’s wife differently.
David and I always get a chuckle when I’m told things that he will never be told. It’s very interesting the things people will tell the PW, but not the pastor. It’s as though they’re thinking, “well, the pastor is too good to hear this, but I still want to say it, so I’ll tell his wife, and I’m sure he’ll still hear it. At least it won’t be directly from me, and he won’t think less of me.” It really does make us laugh! Or, maybe people just want to get something off their chest but don’t want to tell the pastor because he might think less of them so they tell the wife. They never seem to catch on that David and I tell each other everything so it really doesn’t matter. 🙂 Some examples: complaining about different members of the church; or I was told that now since we live across the street from one of the ladies hopefully THAT will inspire her to get to church more often. Other funny things are complaints, or observations, or I’m not sure what, about us! 🙂 “You’re house is AWFULLY big, don’t you think?” says one lady who’s never been inside and is simply judging from her drive-by! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 Sigh… gotta love the old ladies! 🙂 I am asked EVERY single Sunday by a dear lady in her late 80s why am I not showing yet? Is there something wrong with this baby? What’s going on? Sigh… I’m guessing once I do start showing she’ll be asking me why I’m still pregnant and when is this baby ever going to get here? 🙂
These comments are harmless to me, now. Maybe if this had been my first experience I would be hurt, offended, confused. I’m not sure. But, this is my second experience so I just chuckle, know the ladies don’t mean any harm and go about my day because I know that in this congregation the comments aren’t meant to be mean. I have found the women, especially, to be so loving, kind and compassionate towards me, and to David and Cora too. With me being sick they have been so concerned and a couple have offered their time to come help me with Cora so I could rest. What a change. I was sharing with my sister one day that the spirit of this church is so different from our previous church and she very astutely said, “Could it be because they are filled with the HOLY Spirit?” Hmmm… very possible!
In any case, I know our time here will not be perfect, will not be without hiccups, and everyone will not love us all of the time. However, we are already off to a much better start, have already experienced the love of God through these people and know things can be handled in a Christ-honoring way. God is so good in all He does. Even when life is rotten, horrible and seemingly hopeless, He is still good. He is still working on our behalf.
*Disclaimer: not all of the people in our previous church were terrible people. We are still friends with a few of them. However, the overall spirit of the church was not Christ-honoring and the overall experience with the folks there was nothing in comparison to what we are experiencing now. I know there are some from that church who read my blog, so I don’t want them to think I’m lumping them in with the others!