Just Breathe

I have been struggling with a lot of dizziness in this pregnancy. It has been concluded that it’s my sinuses and thankfully NOT my blood pressure, as I have been very worried it was. Sunday was the worse day I’ve had so far. I was so upset because all of my friends were here, I just wanted to make them some cinnamon rolls and give them a tour of the church. I wanted to be the proud pastor’s wife sitting the pew supporting her husband and all I could do was walk from A to B without falling over–literally. I was literally holding on to walls to walk. I should not have gone to church, but I forced myself. I mean, I had already missed last week with Cora and I being sick, and I didn’t feel I could miss again. I started crying before service even started, Sherry and I went to David’s office where I sat on the couch. We talked a bit I started to calm down and figured if was sitting on a couch I could sit in a pew. I made it through the service (which was really good!) and then it was time to be sociable. People could tell I was not doing well and all I wanted to do was leave. Not because I was upset, but simply because I didn’t want to pass out right there at the church. David saw things were not good, my friends had already planned to leave right after church and we left shortly after. I’m so thankful David didn’t have meeting that day!!!

Why do I tell you all of this? Because of what didn’t happen. Well, I didn’t pass out, but that’s just the side issue. What didn’t happen was this: no on got mad/upset/offended that David chose to be a husband that day, his busiest day of the week. I was free to be sick, my husband was free to be a husband and it was OK for us to leave right away. It was OK for us to be a family unit. We had not experienced that in our previous church. We never felt the freedom to be a family first and that is sad. However, God is redeeming that and as different things happen in our family (good and hard) we see more and more this place God has brought us is a place of health and healing and we just need to breathe.

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