39 Weeks and Waiting–NOT!!!!!

UPDATE: This is what my post was when I wrote it yesterday. However, things have changed! Very briefly: REBEKAH LYNN was born on June 18, 2013 at 4:06 pm! We made it to the hospital just 2 hours before she was born. She weighed 9 lbs., 4 oz and was 21 in. long! I’ll write more later as far as how it all went down, but I wanted to post this for now! 

 

Yesterday I was 39 weeks. Here’s the newest baby bump photo! We’re still waiting…

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Psalm 139

I was having a particularly hard day the other day. Very emotional, very snappy and yelling at everyone in the family. My husband told me to calm down, and I didn’t appreciate that, even though I knew he was right. I took some time to be by myself and started praying and listening to music. I then opened my Bible and started ready through passages which always help me when I’m discouraged, scared, upset, etc. My most favorite is Psalm 139. It’s always been a huge encouragement to me. I know it well and every time I read it I think, “surely this time I won’t find anything new to help encourage me.” However, I’m always wrong and once again, the Lord spoke to me through his word. Because I was dealing with some fears of the labor/delivery process of baby girl and just other things that go along with that the following verses really spoke to me. I wanted to share them with you.

For you formed my inward parts;

you knitted me together in my

mother’s womb.

I praise you, for I am fearfully and 

wonderfully made.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

My frame was not hidden from you,

when I was being made in secret,

intricately woven in the depths of

the earth.

Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of 

them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.

Psalm 139: 13-16 ESV

God is so involved in our lives. I love the use of words of “intricately woven,” “made in secret,” the Lord knew all my days even before I was created and living them. He knows all the same of this unborn babe growing inside of me. I may have some illogical fears of her living through birth and such (illogical because there’s been nothing to indicate there will be issues), but if there are issues, God knows, and he’s still God. He is so involved in our lives that he forms us intricately in our mother’s womb. He knows our thoughts, he knows the words we’re going to say before we say them. This is the God I love and choose to follow. And, most importantly choose to trust.

Weary…

Every pregnancy I reach a point where I’m tired, exhausted, just plain weary. And I think, “how on earth will I have the energy to finish this part? How will I make it through labor and pushing?” It gets tiresome carrying around your unborn babe. If you say you love every moment of pregnancy I say “bah!” to you because I think every woman reaches a point where they just want to hold their baby in their arms and look into his/her face! Everyone asks how I’m doing and well, honestly, I’m tired. I’m exhausted and I’m weary. I’m so ready to hold this baby, look into her eyes, rock her, nurse her (Lord willing!!) and introduce her to her family! I’m not sleeping well so that just makes the days harder. I’m sorry to sound complain-y. It’s just the truth, and I’m not one who can skirt around the truth. I’m open and real. It’s how I roll. God tells us to come to him when we’re heavy laden and weary. I’m trying! However, truth be told, I’ll be glad when this part of the process is done, and I get to see my babe.

Apron String

My MIL asked me how Baby Girl and I were doing and I said, “fine, still attached!” Yep, that’s how it is! We’re in the Great Waiting Game phase! Since this is time #3 going through this I am not jumping at every little twinge or contraction. However, there have been a few nights when we thought it was “time.” Obviously, not so…I have found myself praying a lot, preparing my heart and mind for the task ahead. Anyone who’s gone through birth knows it is indeed a task. It’s work, it’s hard and well, it’s labor (there is a reason it’s called “labor”).

We have everything ready now. I honestly can’t think of anything more we have to do (ok, we need to bring the infant car seat up from the basement). I’ve bought our snacks (which David has already gotten into his “birth cookies and birth Coke”–his words, not mine) for the hospital, have the pantry stocked with extras so my mom doesn’t have to worry about what to feed the kids, and I’m trying to keep up with things like laundry–probably for my sanity rather than out of necessity! I have written out Bible verses for the birthing process. My friend, Nan, is acting as a doula for us and so she is going to be using these verses as encouragement and strength for during the laboring process.

I’ve had my time of irrational fears attacking me and have been praying for the Lord’s peace. This will be the 1st time I do labor without an epidural–Cora’s birth it became necessary, thanks to petocin, and with Ben I freaked out and didn’t try very hard. This time, I have been praying all pregnancy that the Lord would give me strength to do it without the pain meds. You don’t have to agree with me, it’s my choice. In my research and reading, and what I have truly wanted with each delivery, I feel being as natural as possible is the way I need to do this. I’ve literally been praying I’ll forget epidurals even exist. And, we wait! Joy comes in the waiting, right? Hopefully, this week I’ll have the happy news of Baby Girl coming, but if not, well, we’ll just keep waiting!

Preparation

As I get ready for each of my unborn babes to be born I notice I think about the millions of women who have gone before me and wonder how they prepared for their babies? I know there was sewing of clothes and probably for some making a cradle to lay the baby in, but I can be certain there were no baby showers, bouncy seats, swings, hanging of dangerous curtains, gathering of diapers, etc., etc., etc. I have to think that back in the day (anything before the 1900s) it was a whole lot simpler to prepare for the baby. I doubt there was pressure to have the newest gadget, or if your baby didn’t have “x” amount of whatever you were failing as a parent. It was so much simpler, I do believe. You were pregnant, had the baby and hoped you didn’t die in the process!

Today we’re bombarded with things we “must have” (can you say “wipe warmers?” Sorry, this is one that I find absolutely ridiculous!!!! I have never warmed up my kids’ bottles (I just use room temp water) even! I know, I must be a horrible mom.). David and I have always striven to live simply. And, the more children we have it seems the more simple we want things to be. I got rid of the baby bath when Ben was born–the kitchen sink is there for a reason, after all! I have whittled down the amount of clothes we have (Cora was grand baby number 1 on 1 side of the family and got a LOT of clothes!), and I feel like we are down to just the necessities. I understand that said necessities are different in each house, but for our house I feel we’re down to just the basics. When we had Cora I packed a bunch of stuff for her for being in the hospital. By the 3rd baby I see that we just need a blanket and outfit for coming home–and Ben didn’t even need the blanket as it was end of June when he was born! We’ll see if we need it this time…

I feel like with each child I have also been more certain of how to organize things, put stuff in more convenient spots, etc. There is certainly something to be said for experience! I was telling my sister the other day just how much you realize you don’t need certain things, but others are of great importance! Anyway, this house is all a-buzz getting ready. I do believe we are. I have all the clothes, onesies, blankets, diapers, wipes and diaper cream in their spots. The crib is made and waiting for Baby Girl to be in it, and David pulled the suitcase up the other day to pack for the hospital. Yep, we’re ready! We’re just waiting now, and I’m trying hard to be content in the waiting. God knows when she needs to be born, and I’m doing my best to rest in that.

The True Hero

Today I’m 37 weeks! I’m full term, I can have this baby anytime she wants to come! I’ve been having a ton of contractions for over a week now. A lot of which are painful and wrapping all around me, some causing me to stop walking, or talking. At my appointment on Friday we discovered I’m 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced, so they’ve been doing something, that’s for sure!!! We toured the birth center we’re going to be using, and it’s so nice! Because it’s a new thing for this particular hospital the birthing center is only one room, but it’s beautiful! It’ll be the nicest room I’ve given birth.

But, that’s not what I really wanted to talk about today. I want to talk about the true hero in all of this. That is, David, my husband. I have come to realize over my last 3 pregnancies that the true hero in it all is the husband. Everyone jokes around that the man’s part in the whole pregnancy thing is easy and short. That may be true for the actual getting pregnant and sure the man isn’t pregnant, but I have come to realize that his part is not done just because a woman is pregnant. I don’t know about your husband, but mine (and the husbands of my friends and family members) doesn’t stop his duties just because his wife is pregnant. David has to shoulder a lot. Because I get so sick during the early part of the pregnancy he has to take on the duties of housewife and mom, too. He has to cook, grocery shop, clean, take care of the kids more than usual. And, never mind all of his own duties he has. He has to put up with a hormonal, weeping wife who can go from happy to angry to sad in a matter of mere seconds! He has to deal with her ever-changing body and her self-esteem as she grows larger and larger and feels ugly. He has to put up with her temperature changes–currently I’m ROASTING–and the added pillows in the bed. And, I don’t know about you, but MY husband has a lot of sleepless nights because when I’m pregnant I snore horribly. Yep, it’s a time of stress for both the pregnant woman AND her husband.

And, this doesn’t even include the labor and delivery time! I have NEVER once placed blame on my husband during labor/delivery. I mean, seriously, why would you look at the man you love and tell him it’s all his fault? I have never understood that and refuse to say that, or anything else like it to my husband. He is there for me during the labor, holding my hand, cheering me on, encouraging me, giving me strength when I feel like I can’t continue. He prays for me when I’m in excruciating pain. Yes, I do believe he feels helpless, and he has admitted to me that he hates seeing me in that pain. But, he remains by my side and helps me through it. And, at the end he is rewarded with getting to be the first to see his new daughter or son enter the world–yes, he gets to see our bundle before I do! I love watching my husband laugh with pure JOY as he sees his new daughter/son for the first time. I love seeing the glee and excitement on his face, and we look at each other, and I do believe we both think “it was all worth it.”

I love my husband so much. Pregnancy is never easy in our home. It’s a very stressful time in our family and our marriage. There are so many emotions (mine) that get unleashed, and I end up saying “sorry” more during pregnancy than any other time, I do believe. But, in the end we know it’s a season we’ve just weathered, and we’ve lived through, and in the end God has blessed us with another child. To me, the mom is not the hero in all of this. The baby is not the hero, nor are the midwives, doctors or nurses. It’s the husband. The man who is there with his wife through it all, through sickness and in health, for better or worse. I love my hero so very much and am so thankful for him. There is no one I want to do this journey with more than David.